Wow......its been a long ....long....time


 I sit here at age 52. with  3 ault children,and one who may as well be.at 15 , he has more street smarts and more "game" than anyone in the family.

  I wa fortunate.  My beloved wife and i raised 4 great kids,never had to raise bail, and they know right from wrong. We Did ok.

When they were little it was easy...I could solve thier problems for them , now not so much. Now I cant interfere, i cant do it for them.........It frustrates me to no end.....I want to fix there problems for  them....but have to step back and have to let them make ther own mistakes. It sucks

   They are actually doing great, and making their own decisions......not the same as i would make, but whats best for them..

 I am so proud of them all......they will probably never see this, not even know it exits...... I feear that I will not be here to give advise.......wanted or not.......to cut grass.......tofix pipes.......to tow race cars....to hold a hand before a race.......to hug my beautiful grandchildren .....to show my love to them.....to hold my new granddaughter........to see the successes of my children......to hug them when then they fail....and to let them know failing is ok.....failure has been the cornerstone of my life and yet, look at the wonderful things and beings that came out of it.

I love you all       I pray you know that.

My Family got smaller today.
We found out my Aunt Joanne passed away.
I an so sorry for wasted time, for putting things off until tomorrow........for distancing myself, for being lazy.
 I love you Aunt JoAnne , I should have been there more, told you how I  felt.....been a better person
Give Uncle frank a hug for me when you see him in Heaven.
Love you both.

Well, another banner day.
Wont mean anything to anyone but me, but, attempted to repair my truck that has been sitting for a long,long,time. That is a story in itself, but the frame is shot.So once again I have no truck to take my boys hunting.
 As silly as it sounds it was little bit of hope , a little piece of me that is now useless.
 There is no way for me to afford another one, even used because of my situation.
 My one bow is cracked, another has a broken sight, and once again I feel like a failure.
I can;t take my boys hunting in a minivan, it tois on its last legs and needs to be babied.
I have no idea what to do, and Christmas is around the corner.
Dear God please give me some ideas how to get me out of this mess.'Mom and Dad,Uncle Frank,and Uncle Bill,if you can put  in a good word for me, even though I am a looser , and disappointment to you, to God, and to myself, please do it...help me find the solution.
I am tired, just really tired,andd need some solutions       09/02/2013

Week of sept 10 2012

I sit here , feeling sorry for myself. I have a Foley Catheter and a kidney stone that is not removed yet. They said they got a third of it.
 There are too many unknowns in my future at this point. I feel as though the anesthetic has not quite worn off, I do not know if I will be using Catheters the rest of my life, I don't know when the rest of the 2.5 cm stone will be removed.
After the stone procedure, I went into spasmodic shake and then was put into the Hospital with an infection for 4 days of IV antibiotics. My trust in my Doctor is very, very low.
As I was going through this, Our Embassies were attacked, on 9/11 no less. The President seems more concerned about campaigning and kissing the ass of our enemies who are Islamist s.
I think trying times are ahead for us. God help us.
I hope God has Mercy on us and wakes up this country . We need a new President this one is naive and has no clue about running a country.
Say a prayer for me please. I am in a sad place right now and can use some positive energy.
One good thing is I am eating right ,at least for the past week. I am gonna keep it up. after I have these med issues solve I am going to start exsersizing .I hope I can Keep it up.
My Family needs me and I need them.
Please remember one small thing that can grant us all Salvation. John 3:16 For God so loved the world, he gave us his only Son, So that who ever shall believe in him, shall have eternal life.
What a gift. Mohammedans cult never said that.Then again I think Islam is pure evil incarnate.

Memorial Day 2012
This is a day of remembrance. Of thinking of good times,and being thankful for those that gave some,and shedding a tear of thanks for those that gave all.
 Sometimes we know the story of those great Hero's. Most often we do not.
And at times they rather their story not be known,not that the did something dishonorable, but in being heroic, allot of times requires men to do things that are awful, frightening and blood curdling.
To all those who served and are proud, and those that rather forget,we as a country owe you a thank you.

Change

My Daughter moved out today.
She is starting a new life,and will be getting married.
Saying goodbye is tough even if she is only a short way away,and I am supposed to be a hardened,miserable old f**k

She is my baby and I miss her.

The Devil has a name, and it is my niebor

There are few things in this world , that can anger me enough to get physical.
No, I hit no one although they probably deserved It .I did however manage to smash a kitchen chair, punch a wall, and a steel front door.
I still cant get over my anger. The things this ass said to me will never be forgotten or forgiven.
Telling a disabled person to get a job,the one thing he wishes he could do to provide for his family ! and telling me I could never afford to put up a fence and have done nothing to our property for the past 20 years. This penis sucking ass hole will never be forgotten.
They say good fences make good neighbors.....maybe.
We have had neighbors that were like family no fence needed.
Time has changed neighbors also change.We got the biggest piece of shit in our backyard.
some hints: don't move next to a property with alot of leaves and trees if you don't want leaves in your yard.
If you dont like to look at my yard..put up your own fucking fence
If your kid still rides on a swing set at 14 get him help, hes probably retarded.
That is enough venting for now.
But I promised myself one thing, I will never let myself be walked on again.No one will everbe allowed to be disrespectful to me again. ever.